I seem to be on a roll with the completing of list items, as I'm back to tell you that i have managed to ... well, complete another list item. I'm sure you'd figured that out though... hopefully.
Anyways, the list item I have completed is:
28)Win a bet
Yay for me!
"But Wait" I hear my
Well, my astoundingly observant readers, I'll let you into a little secret. Due to the fact that I look like I am 18 years of age ( being only 90 days away from this useless landmark at the time of writing), I can get away with placing bets at certain areas.
"Where are these foul pits of gambling, drunken revelry, and obvious debauchery?" I hear you cry.
... Calm down. My life isn't that exciting. Sheesh.
No my friends, the places i refer to are Horse Racecourses.
The particular racecourse i attended... well I'm not going to give you the name, in case I get someone in trouble.
But I can tell you that the racecourse's name rhymes with "BlueBloxeter"... and that it looks like this:
See, a master of secrecy me!
Anyways, I went about a month back with my mother, brother, and her fiance + his kids. It was a chilly march day ( Yay for British weather!)
But I was already excited. You see, readers ... I have a problem when it comes ot gambling. I can't help it. The allure of trying my luck, chancing my fortunes, chasing the lady, is so great, I can barely resist. I make bets on trivial things with others and myself almost constantly. In fact, the writing of this post at this particular time was decided via means of the flip of a coin. This may seem like a bit weird, but I like how it works. The variables of science coming together in one single possibility that then affects another possiblility, and so on and so forth... Is that not cool?
... No?... Well, no need to be rude. What is with you today readers?
Anyways, we had arrived at the un-named racecourse, and eagerly awaited the races to start.
The first few races went without a win, and i started to get a bit anxious. My big worry while watching isn't just the bet, but also the horses/jockeys. I hate seeing a fall.
Anyways, I nipped down to place my bet for the third race, and got a good deal on one of the horses. I would win a princely sum of £16.25 from my placement of £5 ...
hey I didn't say it was a big bet, now did I?
I settled back down on the concrete step that had become my perch for the day, and waited for the race to begin. The tension built as the horses took up their places, with jockeys nervously licking their lips in anticipation, and fans running through vocal exercises in order to begin screaming in appreciation.
Well, I think it was vocal exercises, it may just have been drinking beer, and arguing who had the better bet...
Then the race began. The excitement built, as I could already see my horse jockeying for a good position in the...er... what would you call a group of horses? A pack? A herd? A lobstromonous?
Anyway, my horse was in a good position.
The horses began to pick up speed, grinding biological gears to hit maximum velocity. ( If you would like to know more on the biology of race horses, may I recommend the recent program on channel 4, How To Win A Grand National )
As they thundered past the stands, the crowds shouting and screaming, I could see my horse leading the lobrstromonous. ( yes I'm going with lobstromonous. If in doubt, go with lobstromonous. Remember that kids!)
This is another moment I lobe about gambling.
The moment where the faint hope glimmering at the end of a tunnel turns out not to be a train, but instead a mutant kingdom where you are revered as a king... What? A Snood can dream okay!
As the horses crossed the finish line, my horse had clearly won. Joyfully i skipped through large patches of dejected punters, to collect my hard earned winnings... Well, soft earned winnings.
I approached the bookie, who gave me, The Grand Total of...
£16.25 !
hey it's not much but it's a win.
However, after this, I did something very silly my dear readers.
I bet the money I had won.
Not all at the same time, but unfortunately I didn't win for the rest of the day.
And in that there is an important lesson about gambling.
Be they a disgruntled looking bookie at a racecourse, or a big casino, THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS.
And with that, I will conclude my post!
To finish off, I will leave you with one of my favourite gambling based songs:
" The House Of The Rising Sun", a popular American Folk Song ( or so I am told) , sung here by The Animals
That's all folks!
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